The Secret Door by Ronan J

The heat and smoke that I’d been enduring for years was finally getting to me. I could feel my lungs burning as I swung my pick for what could be the last time. The mines were where I had been working since the age of seven, working hard for eight hours a day to feed and nourish my family. Only to die six years later from lung cancer at thirteen; as my weary mottled hands swung the axe into the stone wall I noticed a bright white light emanating from the rock. My curiosity spurred me on and in less than five minutes I had revealed a door. It was made of a varnished mahogany with a large silver lion knocker centred in the very middle. The bright white light that I had seen was protruding from the sides of it, lighting up the cave with its eary glow. I instinctively hit the lion knocker. I don’t know what I was expecting but it certainly wasn’t what happened next. The large Imposing door swung open revealing… The greenest place I had seen in my entire life, I stepped through and fell into a swirling lake. Instinctively, I shouted out as the cold hit me but my mouth filled with water as I drifted below the surface. Living my whole life in a mine I had never taken the precaution of learning to swim therefor I was helpless to the power of the great lake as it dragged me under. Luckily I passed out and floated to the surface of the water. I drifted for miles until I was awoken by the sound of rushing white water. Looking around me I remembered where I was, trying to remain calm was getting increasingly difficult due to the Growing sound of crashing water. Strangely my cancer had become non-existent. Not that I’m complaining of course. The water was becoming unbearably loud and I was looking around, trying to find the cause of the noise. As I turned left I saw that the water abruptly ended in a waterfall. Panicking profusely, I tried kicking away from the waterfall but to no avail. I was dragged over the edge and fell into a deep pool at the very bottom. My legs had been shattered by the fall and woke up screaming to the excruciating pain. I stared straight into the eyes of a snake. Petrified with fear, for I had a snake phobia. I was baffled and joyous when to my great relief the snake ignored me and slithered away. My moment of happiness dissipated as soon as it had arrived for I realised that there was no way for me to get back home. Even if my legs were working for I had come here by some unimaginable force. Whilst I was thinking these thoughts I could feel myself drifting away from the world and as my eyes closed for the last time I wasn’t aware of my death. How strange…

One thought on “The Secret Door by Ronan J

  1. Brilliant! Your word choices are superb – especially your variety of sentence starters. Paragraphs would help the reader even more.

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