I will never forget the day when we discovered we were not alone in this vast universe. A fleet of around 200 spaceships flew towards our planet at a terrific speed. When they were about 30 meters above earth they shot green lights at all of the vegetables and fruit all over the world. It looked as though the vegetables weren’t harmed at first, but after the aliens had left odd things started to happen.
A woman woke up one morning and discovered tomato juice everywhere, an old man came home from work one day and found his fridge door wide open and the food all over the floor. A mob of killer mushrooms tied a child to the banisters and sucked the nitrogen out of him.
The police were bewildered at what was happening to the people of earth and imprisoned a band of murderous cucumbers in a titanium box, but it was no use. In the dead of night, the cucumbers scorched a hole in the side of the box and slithered out. “I want more nitrogen!” one cucumber said to another.
“Don’t worry,” it replied “we will soon get some from the other prisoners.” They crawled down the dark, damp corridors to the other inmates. When they reached a locked door, they simply burnt through it. When they reached the final corridor, silhouetted against the door, stood a big, burly police officer. As the cucumbers crawled closer they noticed he was holding a knife in one hand and a fork in the other. He bent down and stabbed the fork through one of the cucumbers. A high pitched scream rang down the corridors and the policeman sliced the cucumber in half but that was a big mistake. The two halves of cucumber leaped at the man’s face and sucked the nitrogen out of him.
Vegetables all over the world started attacking people to get the nitrogen out of them. They attacked one city at a time until they had wiped out the human race and then moved on to animals. A few people survived and hid in their cellars and lived on bread and jam but because jam is made of fruit the people who ate it had the nitrogen sucked out of them.
After all the life had been wiped out on earth the aliens came back to earth and picked up all of the fruit and vegetables and took them to their space station which orbited Saturn. There, the fruit and vegetables gave the nitrogen to the aliens who used it for a scientific experiment to turn the gas on Saturn into a blue acid.